We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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