Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize