the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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