I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
