So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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