Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
