if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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