Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
