I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
