its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
