i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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