And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
