I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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