he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize