I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
