Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
