FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
