what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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