Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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