my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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