two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
