I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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