I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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