People with herpes should wear stickers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
