You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
