Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
