okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
