Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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