I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
