She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
