i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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