I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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