I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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