Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
