Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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