You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So vagazzling was a success
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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