This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
