Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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