Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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