Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
