People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Randomize
