That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
