trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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