HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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