i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
