we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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