wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Bring me that man meat
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