Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You can't motorboat a personality
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize