North Korea, Best Korea!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
