Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
