I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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