I bet he comes in French.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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