planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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