I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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