ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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