I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
