Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
