I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
