I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
