is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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