i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
