PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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