and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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