we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
