I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
