is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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