i just had sex bonerless
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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