Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize