I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
