Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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